Writing the Blurb

 

I've seen it all over the net. Writers who have no problems pumping out a 100,000-word novel will often fall to the ground screaming "My publisher needs a blurb and I can't write them!"

 

I agree. I read a lot of blurbs every day. A lot of people can't write them.

 

They can be tricky, especially if you are limited to words. If your novel is an e-book, you'll probably have more scope, but if your novel is in print form, your publisher will give you a word count of around 200 words.

 

So how do you squash a quart into a pint pot?

 

Make it short

 

Well, der, Erastes. State the blooming obvious. But you'd be surprised how few people do, especially with e-books. More than a couple of paragraphs and you'll lose your prospective reader. So you've got very little time. Your reader has a limited attention span, so you want to grab them fast.

 

Write one, and don’t worry too much about the word length, aim for about four paragraphs, or about 400-500 words.

 

Now get out the editing pen and start to pare it down. What can you lose? What MUST be kept? You’ll be amazed how quickly you learn to make every word count.

 

Make it attention grabbing

 

Don't muck about with too much exposition. Tell the reader what the book is about.

 

 MAKE IT RELEVANT!

 

Again, you are going to say this is obvious, but many, many blurbs wander off topic and start babbling about something the reader doesn’t need to KNOW.

 

Here are a few random blurbs I found while researching for this article.

 

1. It was said Amethyst was a young maiden wanted by the god of wine. Some say she spurned him and ran away. Some say she turned into a white stone and Bacchus worshiped her by anointing her with wine, turning white stone to royal purple. Some say since then, the amethyst sees past our inhibitions, intoxicating us with our own desires.

 

OK – so at this point as a prospective buyer I'm thinking – WTF? This tells me nothing about the book.   It's pointless exposition and if relevant at all, should be kept for the book itself. I wouldn’t read on.

 

Stealing jewelry has never been difficult for Gia Solletii. Excepted in the glittering society around the world, it's easy to relieve bored patrons of their sparkles. But Gia is tired. Climbing rooftops is getting difficult, and schmoozing is getting on her nerves.

 

OK – THIS paragraph should have been the opener. But author – don't use a word if you don't know what it means!.   Excepted means the opposite of accepted.   Even a blurb needs a second (and third, and fourth) pair of eyes. Unforgivable. I blame the publisher, too!

 

The Shadow holds the answer. A retired legendary thief, he specializes in letting the rich and the beautiful keep their toys.

 

So? He specialises in – what, exactly? NOT stealing? And why is he the answer? What was the question? And just because this is a blurb, it doesn't mean we can ignore standard punctuation, either.

 

OK - Let's try another one

 

2.Everyone has something to hide. But if you're brave enough to open yourself up to another, one who has something to lose himself, then maybe unmasking the predator will bring you rapture.

 

Promising start. It's a little vague, but it has a hook, making you want to read on.

 

Anna Le Boutillier is hiding a secret she can't afford to reveal to anyone.

 

"To anyone" is redundant. ,,, hiding a secret she can't afford to reveal. See the difference? Tight tight tight. Keep it tight. Or even …hiding a secret. If she’s hiding a secret, we can take it as a given that she can’t afford to reveal it.

 

Derik Harrison holds a secret of his own, but the cryptic Anna entrances him. So, he makes the decision to leave her an invitation to the ball without a name on it.

 

OK. So the ball hasn't got a name. I'm so out of here.

 

In the end to reach their climax, and bind them together with trust and mutual primal lust, it will take just one bite and they'll give up all the control they hold so dear.

 

The editor should have red-penned this. Dear Lord, what a dreadful sentence. In the end to reach their climax? Unless that's very literal and they are having orgasm problems, that could have been written more elegantly.

 

Plus – what does it all mean?   What's the story ABOUT?

 

3. Jim Mack is a naïve young scholar and the son of a foolish, aspiring shopkeeper. Doyler Doyle is the rough-diamond son -- revolutionary and blasphemous -- of Mr. Mack's old army pal. Out at the Forty Foot, that great jut of rock where gentlemen bathe in the nude, the two boys make a pact: Doyler will teach Jim to swim, and in a year, on Easter of 1916, they will swim to the distant beacon of Muglins Rock and claim that island for themselves. All the while Mr. Mack, who has grand plans for a corner shop empire, remains unaware of the depth of the boys' burgeoning friendship and of the changing landscape of a nation.

 

It’s succinct and describes the book quite well. However—considering that the main stream of the book is rather more than “the boy’s burgeoning friendship” and is quite largely about homosexual relationships, it just goes to show that not even the biggest publishers can get it right.

 

Aim at your target audience

 

Who are you aiming at? Gay romance readers? Lesbian readers? If it's a romance there's no point waffling on about the politics in the country where your protagonists live, or going into detail over a character (however you might like them) who isn't going to impact on the book.   Make it clear that it's a lesbian or a gay or whatever romance. Make it clear that it's a vampire story, or a Shape shifting one. If it has a m/f/m theme, make it CLEAR. There's nothing as disappointing as buying a book that you thought was about one subject and discovering that it's about another.

 

Emphasise your uniqueness

 

Every book (I hope!) is different and has something different to offer. So try and highlight that. Maybe your character has something unusual about them, perhaps it's set somewhere strange.

 

Don’t spoil the reader

 

Don’t tell the reader too much. It’s a fine line to tread, you want to tease the reader but you can’t give major plot points away. I see this happen far too often and it’s like one of those trailers you see at the cinema where you feel you don'’ need to see the film because the trailer has explained the entire plot.

 

See the Jane Eyre blurb below, which attempts to tease with “a house of many secrets” rather than “when Jane finds Mr Rochester has a wife still living.”

 

If stuck – use a formula!

 

1. Introduce your main character

 

Jane Eyre, intelligent and forthright,

 

2. a bit about them

 

is glad to escape the strictures of Lowood school and a family who hates her to

 

3. What happens?

 

take up a position as governess to

 

4. Introduce other main character with someone compelling about him

 

the ward of the darkly mysterious Mr Rochester. 

 

5. Reveal a little of the plot

 

She soon learns to love her charge, as well as discovering that her employer takes an unusual interest in her, and before too long she finds herself impossibly in love with a man far above her station.

 

6. Conflict – Questions - and hook

 

Will Mr Rochester marry the beautiful Blanche from the neighbouring estate, or can Jane allow herself to hope? In a house of many secrets, Jane finds herself thrown into an impossible situation that perhaps even love cannot solve.

 

Try it out with a favourite book of your own, and with a little practice you will start to think in short and clichéd sentences. Once you’ve got the knack of doing it for well-known books, do it again for one of your own. Hopefully this time it will be easier.

 

The best way, as with much of writing techniques, is to read other people's blurbs and critique them yourself. What is good about them? What's bad? Why does that one make you interested in reading on? Why are you really not interested in that book?

 

By studying the good and bad in blurbs, you can really help yourself improve.

 

Good luck!